2014雅思写作典型病句分析

　　Task Two

Some famous universities lower their academic requirements to enroll students who have outstanding athletic talents. To what extent do you agree with this practice? Give reasons based on your experience.

You should write at least 250 words and spend approximately 40 minutes on this task.

　　对病句的点评

误：Lowering the academic standards to accept the special student can lead to decline the quality of education and to destroy the respection of college.

decline 之后应有介词in 或 of。 destroy 是动词，此处应用名词 destruction ，与前面的 decline 平行，均为 lead to 的.宾语。 Respection 完全不对，根本没有这个单词。作者想用 respect (礼 貌、尊敬)，但仍不对，要用 reputation (声誉)。但destruction 与 reputation 又不是很好的 搭配，因此应将 destruction 改为damage。

正： Lowering the academic standards to accept special students can lead to the decline of the quality of education and the damage of the reputation of the school. (damage为名词，与decline 平行)

或： Lowering the academic standards to accept special students can lead to the decline of the quality of education and damage the reputation of the school. (damage 为动词，与 lead to 平行)

误：Their (other students’) opportunities that entering college may be occupied by those students with athletic talents.

作者有用定语修饰 opportunities 的意图，但因语法错误而效果极差。其实很简单，用 to enter 即可。

be occupied 应改为 taken away。

正： Their opportunities to enter college may be taken away by those students with athletic talents.

误：The university also benefit itself by his athletic fame due to enrol and train the students who have special athletic talents. For example, Oxford and Cambridge are very famous in the world. The reason may be owned a little to their boat race games.

这是两个很好的句子，因为其中一个是“论点”，另一个是“论据”。这种用事例、数据等证据来支持论点的做法使人感到客观。很多考试的作文会由于英文水平欠佳、缺乏论据、受汉语表达方式的影响等原因而显得口号多，实际内容不扎实，得不到理想的分数。

此句有若干错误，请对比前后两句。